my sleep schedule is getting worse again!!
I love working on this site so much the reason I'm still awake is I worked on the guestbook
I went fucking insane over getting ntex working with some postgres crate
blocking function inside of an async runtime, then learning that I can't just pass the postgres connection into the ntex thingy because it doesn't implement Clone
then I realized I need something for connection pooling and then I can clone that pool
it was incredibly frustrating but in the end definitely worth it, I didn't really go in depth into anything but I got a few intuitions that'll definitely be of use later on
is it masochism? maybe, who's to say
is it some kind of trauma coping mechanism? fucking probably
I have this quote in the back of my head that I've read somewhere (or maybe I thought of it myself)
it's very cliché but who gives a fuck, it went something like this
passion is the ability to endure pain while doing something you love
actually it was probably much compact and used some fancy words I don't remember because it's almost 3 in the fucking morning !!!!
I have work tomorrow (today!!!!!) my brain is barely functioning
the point is I'm definitely passionate about this I don't mind all the frustrations if this (the guestbook) is the result
I'm very happy with how this turned out (and the ideas I've planned for it) and almost content with myself :-)
I was supposed to upload this like 20 minutes ago and go to bed but I hit bash: Argument list too long and had to fix it in nte so yeah
good night I hope this time!!!!